Ladies and gentleman, I hereby convene this inaugural meeting of the Council of the Sole Surviving Members of Humanity.

That we know of.

That we know of. Friends, our greatest fears have been realised: the entirety of our race has been exterminated and we four are all that remain.

That we know of.

That we know of. But now, it is time for us to look… to the future.

The world has gone right down the pan,
But one thing’s sure: we need a plan,
So let’s all put our heads together,
And think of something really clever.
Hmm…
Ooh!
Over to you!

Plan A… O.K.
Well I know a farm where we could go,
where chickens lay and carrots grow,
It’s only small but it’s enough
to keep us going when things get tough,
It won’t be easy but I’m sure
we’ll grow to love it more and more,
We’ll tend the crops, live off the land -
a self-sufficient little band.

[Overlapping] That’s daft! That's dumb! That's mad! That's nuts! That's just
Insane!
Now give me a second and I’ll explain.

With due respect my merry mate,
You must accept your plan’s not great,
We simply don’t possess the skills
to live as farmers in the hills.
I don’t know how to milk a cow
or shear a sheep or use a plough,
I’m sorry if I burst your bubble
but your plan would only lead to trouble.

Well I’d like to see you come up with something better!

Easy! I’ll even do it with my eyes closed.

Alright, well go on then.

O.K., let me see… Erm… Well I suppose we could always just… No, that wouldn’t work. Or maybe we could try… No, probably not. Or perhaps… No. Actually, can you come back to me?

Huh!

The world has gone right down the pan,
But one thing’s sure: we need a plan,
Any ideas what we could do?
Hmm…
Ooh!
Over to you!

Plan B… Let’s see…
It can’t be just us left behind -
there must be others for us to find,
If we could only seek them out,
they’d be our friends I have no doubt,
When we find them we’ll join forces,
pool together our resources,
Form a new community,
much stronger for its unity.


[Overlapping] That’s daft! That's dumb! That's mad! That's nuts! That's just
Insane!
And if you don’t mind then I’ll explain.

With due respect, you must concede
you can’t expect that to succeed,
We can’t just give these folk a call,
that is, if they exist at all.
Communication’s gone awry,
we’ve not even got a power supply,
I’m sorry dear if I do smirk
but your plan is not one that will work.

Well alright, but there’s no need to be rude about it!

I wasn’t being rude, I was just saying -

Look, there’s no time for bickering. We’ve got work to do.

The world has gone right
down the pan,
But one thing’s sure:
we need a plan,
Any ideas what
we could do?
Hmm…
Ooh!
Over to you!

Plan C… If we… Erm… Just give me a second… No, it’s gone again.

Huh!

The world has gone right down the pan,
But one thing’s sure: we need a plan,
Any ideas what
we could do?
Urgh…
I’ve got it!
This better be good!

Plan D flat… It seems to me that…
We needn’t worry what we’ll eat -
with little work we’ll be replete,
There’s loads of food stockpiled in store
to last a lifetime, maybe more,
We’ll find ourselves a great big van
and salvage what supplies we can,
Then live off rice and tinned baked beans,
the laid-back lifestyle of our dreams.

[Overlapping] That’s daft! That's dumb! That's mad! That's nuts! That's just
Insane!
I shouldn’t have to but I’ll explain.

With due respect, you must confess
your plan is lacking in finesse,
And I for one aren’t satisfied
to survive on scraps from days gone by.
It’s crucial that we start anew,
be self-reliant through and through,
I’m sorry Gary if I rail,
but your plan is surely doomed to fail.

So that’s it? Not one of us can come up with a decent plan?

Apparently not.

But we’ve got to think of something!

Well I don’t see how. Unless Lizzie’s had any bright ideas?

Actually, what was the first one again? I thought that was quite good.

What, you mean…

I know a farm where we could go,
where chickens lay and carrots grow,
It’s only small but it’s enough
to keep us going when things get tough,
It won’t be easy but I’m sure
we’ll grow to love it more and more,
We’ll tend the crops, live off the land -

Yeah, that one.

Yeah I quite liked that idea as well.

O.K., all in favour of adopting Plan A, say…

Aye
Aye
Aye
Aye

Well then that’s settled.
Hooray!
Hooray.
So without delay let’s be on our way!